Wonder if I'll make it back...?

It's been, paradoxically, both a productive and a frightening day. After a leisurely start and breakfast kind-of with the Cat, I made my way to 神奈川県, and read a fun part of that 2nd Murakami book. When I got to work, our visitors were all there, working away without any fuss. Which is great. Meant I could crack on with The Paper.

But a short spell of the kind of day-long panic attack feelings I've been having so much of recently quickly got worse. I've spent almost all day with a sore chest. And not on the right-hand side either, if you get me.

In the last 36 hours, I've discovered a thinning patch on top of my head (curiosity and a webcam got the better of me), white hairs in my beard (not blonde), and now a tight, sore chest.

Feel a bit better relaxing on the train, but don't want to go through the prolonged torture of not knowing if I'll still be alive at midnight.

This is nuts.

I think a lot of it is delayed reaction to the madness of recent weeks at work, plus sorting out a flat and associated stuff with every spare moment, plus never getting a holiday, plus being paranoid that the Cat is going to try and rush things again and/or take over the new place. that last one probably isn't fair but with no-one to talk to about this kind of stuff, it quickly gathers momentum in your mind.

feel like shouting, but what? and who at?