Correction, I wanted to finish it three weeks ago. Then he suggested a break, "not to stlit up". I thought about if it had any meaning. He said that maybe it meant being friends. I liked that idea. And he had made me feel guilty for trying to leave him when he had no job. So I thought... why not see if it can be rescued. Eight months of shared history might be worth it.
But little changed. At first, it felt okay. I enjoyed the space and conversation that wasn't about our future together. And I think he tried to back off a little, but it didn't last. He kept dropping the usual hints about us moving back to the UK, and saying "we'll be fine, right?" when I didn't know that we would.
So every time I thought about us, I got panic attacks. Seriously.
