nervousness

I think, ironically, I want to be sick. As in vomit, not as in sick sick... I don't want that for me, or for someone very close to me. He's in the hospital now getting the latest scan results. In a fantasy world, the hitch-hiker is diminishing in size. In reality, I hope it's the same as last year: no change.

He's got the strength to cope with all of this. I hope I can match him.

It seems I do pray, after all.

Best night of my life

Not tonight, but a year ago tonight.

I think I remember pretty much everything about it. And it's very hard, him being on a beach thousands of miles away right now. I don't think he's as sentimental as me. But in the course of the last couple of months, he said that he wished he could be as focused on me as he was in Ibiza. We were each other's World there. He was mine, anyway :o)

Mad thing is, he still is.

This is not a night I wanted to be without him.

bigness

Some big words got used tonight. Very big words. The good kind.

I have no idea what happens next.